Alexis, the horrible, terrible, no-good Flight Attendant

Easy E on a flight to California -- Copyright CrazyUs.com

Easy E on a flight to California — Copyright CrazyUs.com

In all the several hundred flights I have taken, I have never ever dealt with such a rude and inappropriate flight attendant. She was not only a bitchy, she was brusque to our entire section. When we realized that she was not singling us out individually, our section of the plane united, and all became amused watching her unravel before our eyes.

We all silently laughed when our crabby flight attendant accused the man two rows in front of us for and I quote “trying to kill” her because his child’s blanket fell into the aisle. I think my personal favorite Alexis-the-crappy-flight-attendant faux pas was when she walked up to my row and firmly addressed me. As soon as she knew I was paying attention, (in not quite an Academy-Award-winning performance, but close), with full, mouth-based sound effects, she turned her nose high in the air and rolled her eyes like a crazed Bobble-Head Doll:

“Ma’am…”

Um Alexis, I think you forgot your company’s Mission Statement? You know, the one you agreed to when you got the job.

Easy E on a flight to California -- Copyright CrazyUs.com

Easy E on a flight to California — Copyright CrazyUs.com

The Mission of Southwest Airlines:

“The mission of Southwest Airlines is dedication to the highest quality of Customer Service delivered with a sense of warmth, friendliness, individual pride, and Company Spirit.”

Making my friend’s desperate-to-pee, two and a half year old son walk the entire length of the plane to the back (we were in aisle five) to use the bathroom because you couldn’t take one second to step into an empty row so he and his father could pass by you just wasn’t cool. And then telling them, just in case they couldn’t figure it out themselves, that under no circumstances were they going to use the bathroom in the front of the plane, wasn’t the warmest, most friendly way to handle that situation. You know what I mean?

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