Sploosh: The Sound of Something Getting Thrown Into Water
“Shh! Mom, I am venting! You have to do it. So do I!” Eli says as he literally shakes his fists in the air and makes a large growling noise [insert teenage-boy-Muppet-voice here. And yes, it sounds exactly how you imagine].
Wait. Only three sentences in and I feel the need to editorialize and hijack my own post. Hearing the phrase, “vent,” uttered by my teenage son is forcing me to explore feelings talk. Let me explain. See, to my beloved David (and perhaps all men), venting (feelings talking) is simply complaining disguised in lady tears. So after Eli’s Muppet-voiced explosion, I took pause and was reminded that “feelings talking” is not an exclusive task left for your disappointed birthday girl, or your probably-needs-meds-redrum-is-murder-spelled-backwards wife
Now for the double hijack: (Hey, Dave, I want to throw you an additional bone, be a friend and earnestly help you avoid any more of that “feelings talking.” [insert gentle voice here] So, um, Mothers Day 2015 is Sunday, May 10. Here is a very direct (because you know I will ask you to edit this post) head’s up. It would so cool if say a 6” Gluten Free extra frosting City Cakes Carrot Cake landed in our refrigerator. And sure, because we will be back in Utah, a visit to Red Butte Garden or a hike would be amazing. Brunch is a welcome gift, and handmade cards from my sons are a must. I want to teach them to think of others, you know what I mean? Thank you, baby!)
My editorializing complete, I realize that the giant Bose noise-canceling headphones currently covering my ears are not silencing anything. I turn my music louder and see my son’s frustrated face. He has been asked to email his State House Representative. Seeing as how we have neither a state to claim nor a house to live in, I suggested we use our previous address.
“Will you text our friend?” Eli asks. “He knows everything about this political stuff.”
I text our friend knowing that it may take a minute or day to hear back. Eli’s assignment needs our immediate attention.
I Google’d the representative, look at his issues and am as confused as Eli. “Hey, he is a Democrat. That is cool, right?” I am reaching and think maybe Eli should email him and say, “Hey dude, I am glad you are a Democrat.”
I push my headphones off my ears, lean over and say, “Hey Eli, you should. You should email him and tell him you think it is cool that he is a Democrat. I mean, it is Utah, a state with a lot of Republicans.”
Eli looks up, I think he gives me an eye roll, and then solemnly says, “I found something to email him about.”
“What?” I ask.
“Schools. I will email him about schools.”
By the time I ask him, “What are you going to say about schools?” Eli looks at me and says “I already emailed him.”
Assignment accomplished. No blood was lost. Before I finish this sentence Eli summons, “Hey mom what does don’t be dope mean in World War II?”
And again before I can process the word, dope, and attach that words to World War II, Eli answers, “Foolish. Don’t be foolish.”
“That is the sound something makes as it hits the water.”
That is the word Dave told me a few minutes ago when I asked him to give me a word and then asked him to give me a topic. His word: Sploosh. His first topic: Insects of the Amazon basin. His fourth topic (because I told him his first three were too cerebral) feelings. Sploosh. Check. Feelings. Check. Check.
PS. I heart David Adams. Smooch!