Presenting A False Person

Me and Easy E, Salt Lake City, Utah -- Copyright
Me and Easy E, Salt Lake City, Utah — Copyright

In honor of all that is true: Tom Cruise, Oprah and James Frey, I would like to ask if you have all seen Tom Cruise on Oprah? If you haven’t, you really must.

Anderson Cooper - Photo Credit,
Anderson Cooper – Photo Credit,

Added a few minutes later, 3:40 PM to be exact:

For the last year I have been wondering about this Anderson Cooper CNN corespondent guy and where he comes from. He has been all over the news, and Oprah, and seems to have access to every hot spot on the planet (well, maybe not every hot spot [wink]). In my quest to figure out who Anderson Cooper really is, I have envisioned him as some man from Middle America. I see him as a nice dude who had a dream to tell us through his voice and images about all the atrocities in the world. I pictured him married with two kids and a cute little put-together wife. He completely seems like someone I would have hung out with in high school, a little nerdy, yet very adorable. I saw him as a guy who probably knew the cool music to listen to, but wouldn’t have rubbed it on your face like some nerdy alt boys do.

Recently, my Anderson-Cooper-curiosity was piqued after seeing all the news about Anderson and Oprah’s Hurricane Katrina coverage. I had to know. I had to now where this man came from. So I did what I should have done a year ago and Googled him. Thank you IMDB, you never let me down.

Sadly, sometimes my imagination seems much, much better than the truth. How can I really get into a man who is the son of Gloria Vanderbilt, and the grandson of the great railroad tycoon, Reginald Claypoole Vanderbilt? How can I take him as seriously now that I know that he has had a life filled with access? Now, when I see him on the screen, all I can do is envision him wearing his mother’s signature jeans below the camera’s view. I can’t stop thinking about the prep schools he went to and the good fortune he was born into. I think and wonder, if I had been born into such a prestigious family, think of all the good I could do in the world to. Instead of Anderson Cooper on CNN, you could see me, Beth Adams. I would be the one hanging out with Oprah in my puffy Northface jacket, traveling to places like New Orleans and Africa . . . Wait, I still can do some good and I didn’t even need a prep school or open doors to get here.

So then I started thinking some more about all this truth stuff and because my link leads you to a parody of the James Frey interview, I wondered if Oprah is so into the truth, why didn’t she let us know where Anderson Cooper came from? Instead, when Anderson Cooper was on her show a month or so ago, she went on and on and on about how he sprang up from nowhere. Man, I would like to spring up from his no where, you know what I mean?

(Mr. Cooper, in spite of my recent discovery, I still think you do a lot of good in this crazy world of ours and I still think you are nerdy cute, especially when you laugh.)

By the way and just to be clear, I don’t think Anderson is a false person either. However, what I am wondering is if Oprah could use her super powers and set up some kind of love connection between Anderson and Nate Berkus. They are both so adorable, don’t you think?

26 thoughts on “Presenting A False Person

  1. It works for me just fine. I laughed out loud, and I really wish that was the way it happened. 🙂 There was too much simpering on the real deal.

  2. Thank you guys for checking out the link.


    Jill, I absolutely love the word, simpering. I am going to be using it all day long!

  3. In Anderson’s defense, at least he’s doing something good with his life. He could have just sat around and lived off his trust fund and waited for his inheritance.

  4. The only thing I knew about Anderson Cooper was that he had written a very honest, touching story (in Details, perhaps?) about how his older (and only?) brother, who he adored, killed himself. It changed his life so much that he said he wanted to dedicate himself to something positive. I think this is the same way Mike Wallace of 60 minutes fame came to hard news journalism–after the death of his son. Either way, it humanized him for me; I don’t care if he had 10 silver spoons in his baby drawer, the guy lost his brother and that’s something that will change someone forever.
    Love your site, by the way. You rock.

  5. I remember Anderson Cooper from my high school days. We had a news program called Channel One that was broadcast into high schools all over the country, and it seemed as though Anderson was a reporter for them. A few years ago, though I saw an interview with him in which he said that no one would hire him, so he made a fake press pass, got a flight to Boznia and shot his own footage on what was going on over there, and sent it back to the states. Channel One picked it up, and that’s why I saw his face every morning. As a high schoolers, we used to think he was being overly dramatic, hiding behind cars and creeping around old warehouses. After I watched the interview with him, I think he was really putting his life in danger. It was really quiet interesting. So maybe he is one of those priveledged types who tries to make a name for himself, without asking for mommy’s help.

  6. Here’s what I know: Tom Cruise is mothertrucking INSANE, and Oprah is equally mothertrucking RICH. And I can’t think about Vanderbilt jeans without seeing the wonderful Gilda Radner dancing around to “Jewess Jeans” in my head.

    I think Oprah’s smart, savvy, and knows what sells. And knows what won’t sell as well. Martha has the same skillset, but she gets called a b**ch a lot more for it.

  7. I love Anderson Cooper. Well, at least I loved his hurricane Katrina coverage. I loved his bluntness.

    Thanks for the Opera link. You come up with the best links. I’m still showing people the fainting goats!

  8. I checked on Google and couldn’t find any photos of Anderson Cooper with Orrin Hatch.

    As someone whose mother went from migrant worker -> single mother of two -> b-school student -> bank executive while I was growing up, I have to admit I too lose respect for (and feel jealousy of) people who were born into privilege. But I have to remind myself that it wasn’t their choice and it probably doesn’t help them to be a good person. The Buddha was born into a wealthy family. The best people transcend their money (or lack of it), whether or not we seen them on TV.

  9. Nate and Anderson would make a snazzy couple!! good call. I did know about his silver spoon, but also admired his kickass katrina bits.

  10. Anderson and Nate would be adorable. Hook it up Beth! 🙂 As far as Oprah mentioning Anderson’s past, maybe he didn’t want her to. Like, just because he’s doing an interview doesn’t mean he needs to divulge everything right? I dunno, sometimes I think wealthy-well-connected people are at quite a disadvantage when it comes to legitimately breaking into the biz. Anderson is cool – nuff said. 🙂

  11. Hilarious! Nate and Anderson…the names even go together. And, you are right, I always picture Cooper as a midwest boy too.

    I’m just still reeling from Oprah’s show yesterday on the state of things in Louisiana and Mississippi. How can this be happening in our great nation?

  12. Maybe Oprah didn’t reveal Anderson Cooper’s past because people stop taking him seriously when they hear about his upbringing. If I were in his position, I’d want to be assessed strictly on my own merits, rather than have people prejudge me because of who my mother is.

  13. I love Anderson Cooper AND Nate Berkus, and would love to see them blissfully happy.

    I sure do wish my firewall would let me open the link. Durn.

  14. I think Anderson Cooper’s cute, but not as cute as Nate’s old boyfriend…the one killed in the tsunami. I think Tom Cruise is a complete nutcase and that Katie Holmes must be out of her little mind to be mixed up with him. Loved the video.

  15. I look forward to the future tell all books about Tom Cruise- loser
    Anderson is a cutie, I like his style. I find his background interesting – I think what he’s done with his life says a lot about him given that he could have chosen to do anything or he could have chosen to do nothing… lets compare golden spoons –
    Say Paris Hilton vs Anderson Cooper.

  16. Nope, Tiana, I remember him from The Mole too! That was one of the best (in my opinion) reality shows to ever come out of the whole reality show phenomenon.

  17. For some reason, Anderson Cooper’s relatively rarefied upbringing doesn’t bother me at all, and I wasn’t surprised by it. I think he’s far more interesting that just another rich, upper east side prep school kid, which he was, and they are a dime a dozen here in Manhattan–and almost middle American-seeming in my environs. Just read his Wikipedia entry, and you’ll like him again.

  18. I also remember Anderson Cooper from Channel One in high school. AND, Lisa Ling (another one of Oprah’s favorites) was one of the anchors on Channel One as well. Coincidence? And the mental picture of Anderson in Gloria jeans…made me chuckle.

  19. I am an Anderson fan from way back when he worked on ABC overnight news at 3am. I was getting ready for my morning newscast, thinking the only other person who had such sucky working hours was Anderson. And he was hilarious and smart and the only newscaster I had ever seen who was himself, rather than some hairsprayed dude trying to talk in a “news voice.” And he was my model for what I wanted to be as a newscaster.
    I think he can’t help where he came from. I’ve never seen him try to use his connections to get ahead. Naturally, I’m sure he had a leg up, but he has the talent to stay there. How many other kids of famous/wealthy people have we seen just fade into the woodwork? Your admiration for Anderson is well-founded, Beth, no matter who gave birth to him. 🙂

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