Grasshopper, Darth Vader and an Old Lady

Easy E. Mission Beach, San Diego, California -- Copyright CrazyUs.com

Easy E. Mission Beach, San Diego, California — Copyright CrazyUs.com

i Scene

Begin Scene It is Saturday evening and we are driving home from the delicious dinner we just enjoyed at Sugar House Barbecue.

Dave: You’re going to just keep throwing my words back at me, aren’t you?

(then Dave begins to analyze our discussion style and and theorizes that because we have logged a lot of time together (ten years) and because I have learned his great expostulating techniques, he thinks that I am finally learning how to attack the issues like a real pro, I mean, The Master [yes, of course, The Master is obviously Dave]).

Beth: [laughing] Call me Grasshopper . . . or are you Grasshopper?
Dave: [laughing] No, I am definitely The Master and that would obviously make you Grasshopper.

(In the original television show, Grasshopper was also know as Caine. And with the whole Biblical undertones that the name Caine elicits, I wondered if that would make me Cain and Dave, Abel [wink]?) Anyway, like always, I digress . . .

Dave: Actually, it is more like I am Obi Wan Kenobi and you are Darth Vader, since you’ve apparently turned my lessons to evil purposes.
Beth: [laughs and then in a menacing, scary Darth Vader voice] Luke, I am your father.

[long pause]

Eli: BUT MOM, YOU CAN’T BE DARTH VADER.
Beth: Why not, Eli?
Eli: MOM [exasperated] BECAUSE DARTH VADER IS A MAN!

End Scene

ii Scene

Sunday evening while tucking Eli in bed

Eli: Mom, when I grow up I am still going to be a rock star.
Beth: You are? Cool.
Eli: But you can’t be in my band.
Beth: Why can’t I be in your band?
Eli: Because you will be older when I am all grown up.
Beth: You are right, I will be older. I could still be in your band. . . But why can’t I be in your band, Eli?
Eli: [grimaces ] Mom, it is because old ladies can’t be in my band!
Beth: Huh?
Eli: [using the manipulation techniques I have used on him, back on me] But you can watch.
Beth: Watch?
Eli: And mom [smiling and giving a “this is cool” sign with his hands], watching is the best part!

End Scene

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