Guess what? After two long and lonely months, my camera is back. Woohoo! It is taking much better pictures, as long as I continually remember to adjust the exposure compensation.

I know. I know, I have had the Bachelor fluff piece up for days. And actually anyone who thinks I am turning into a big airhead (and are airheads really that bad anyway?), please know that I posted a personal piece after theBachelor Post, only to take it down a few short hours later. Why? Well, I felt like my Personal Piece was immediately misinterpreted. I realized that as much as I could try to clarify it, I still would be misunderstood.

Truth be told, I am guessing most of what I write here is never completely understood and, seriously, observing how my words are received is one of the things I enjoy about writing. But last Friday, when I posted something new, my Personal Post after my Bachelor Post, I was not in a place where I wanted to be misunderstood. (Kind of boring really).

Once again, I have been doing a lot of thinking about why I blog. I also realize that as much as I want to write about my kids or my bad mood, or my marriage problems, I have to remember that I have an audience.  (Oh these new communication frontiers are hard to navigate, aren’t they?) And some of the people who read CrazyUs.com are also people I interact with on a daily basis. Recently, I have become acutely aware of how my words here influence how people perceive me and my family. Most of the time, that is a good thing, but somedays when I am feeling pissy and just want to vent, I realize that I need to count to ten and tread lightly. Why? Because not only do my words affect others’ perceptions of me, but they affect peoples’ perceptions of my kids. And what kind of parent am I if I write something that adversely affects how people treat my children? My self-censoring concerns are not new and I have written about them many times.

Additionally and on a somewhat lighter note, sometimes it is really hard to keep the intensity up day-to-day. I love the occasional break from my deep thoughts and simple pleasures of poking fun at Orrin Hatch or The Bachelor.

[from DAVE] In Beth’s defense, it’s hard to deliver the deep, introspective posts day in and day out. (Well, in my own experiences anyway.) And it’s actually a little harder when people criticize what you choose to write about. It puts the pressure on to “perform” for your “audience”.

Still, most days, I am over the moon with gratitude for the opportunities and experiences this website gives me. Even when someone posts a silly or less-informed comment, I am happy for these unique circumstances to see a tiny tiny pice of the world through someone else’s eyes.

Now, what to do.

[I AM INTHE PROCESS OF WRITING THIS POST. I BEGAN IT THIS MORNING,BUT KEEP GETTING SIDETRACKED. INTHE MEANTIME, I THOUGHT I WOULD POST IT WHILE I FINISH.]