Say “So Long” to THE DUKE

Update Thursday 2:08 PM

The Duke

Right before our trip Dave decided to shave his winter beard. (He grew a voluminous man-beard over the cold months to protect his face while working on the house.) Thank goodness for warm weather. While shaving, he paused and decided to leave me a little surprise, (which some of you have already noticed). That’s right. The little surprise he left me was his new super-sized, Marlboro-Man-styled mustache. Of course, there were many moments this past week that I thought my husband had been replaced by Jason Lee (My Name is Earl), which may not be such a bad thing.

And then, at the airport, our friend Alan suggested Dave looked more like a 1970’s porn star. . . What’s the dude’s name again? Oh yeah, you know, Ron Jeremy? Eww!

The Duke enjoys Disneyland. Anaheim, California
The Duke enjoys Disneyland. Anaheim, California

So, of course, on the plane, we played that one game — you know, the game where you figure out your porn star name by the first street you lived on and the name of your first pet. I believe mine was Myrtle Freemont (after Myrtle, my first pet turtle — may she rest in peace and obviously Freemont for the first street I lived on). Now Dave’s porn star name almost seemed premeditated. When you hear it, you will know what I mean. But seriously, how could his parents know those thirty some years ago that their mustache-sporting son would be playing this silly game someday. (Drum roll) Have I kept you waiting long enough? His porn star name is Chongo Duke. We prefer to call him, THE DUKE (or DUKE CHONGO).

The persona was born as the words Duke and Chongo left his lips. I was suddenly not traveling with my husband (and Ew, I wasn’t traveling with a 1970’s porn star either). Instead, we were all traveling with THE DUKE. There were moments when I wanted to be embarrassed about my scruffy, handlebar-mustachioed husband, but those moments were very few. I actually think he looked kind of sexy with his crazy stache.

The Duke on the Teacups. Disneyland, Anaheim, California
The Duke on the Teacups. Disneyland, Anaheim, California

On that plane ride, and maybe because Wilmer Valderrama was sitting kitty corner from me (yes, this is a teaser for my Wilmer story), I decided to embrace THE DUKE, and so I did.

Sadly, last night Dave pulled out his razor and shaved that hairy Muppet off of his face. THE DUKE is no more. May we all keep him in our memories.


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48 thoughts on “Say “So Long” to THE DUKE

  1. Yow yow Pierson. (Yow yow because my older sister named her and she was too little to pronounce “meow meow” so it came out as yow yow.)

    I can almost hear the cheesy porn music playing as I look at his picture.

  2. I don’t think my porn name turns out very well. It’s either:

    Sammi Frontenac (dog’s name)


    Sunshine Frontenac (cat’s name)

    Kind of lame.

  3. Mine sucks. I don’t even know the name of the first street I lived on so I’m just going to say the name of the town. Then it would be:

    Cheeseball Carolina

    Actually, I pretty much already have a porn star name. Think about it. Ha ha!

  4. Oh my god. I saw the pictures and kept wondering if the guy with the ‘stache was Dave’s brother or his cousin. I just assumed it was a National Lampoon Crazy Us California Vacation with the quirky family members showing up. The Duke rules.

    My porn name: Georgie Albemarle

  5. Sadie Fairway here, and Dave’s stache looks entirely too much like a lot of guys I grew up with in my small Texas hometown. HA!

    I can’t believe you had another celebrity sighting. I’ve been reading your blog for about a year and am amazed at your luck!

  6. Hmmm. What do I do if all of my street addresses until now, were numbered? It would be Rocky 44th. Which sounds STU-PID. The home I live in now, is the first I’ve lived in with a street name, rather than number. So I guess it’s Rocky Potlatch Beach Road. Even worse. Hmphff.

  7. It’s the name of my blog. Dusty Clodfelter. Only, I used my first pet’s name coupled with my Mother’s maiden name…which I don’t recommend to anyone who uses their Mother’s maiden name for passwords and such. ๐Ÿ™‚ I never do. But, really, Dusty Clodfelter? How freakin’ pathetic is that? Yet, it suits me quite well. ๐Ÿ™‚ Beth, I love your stripper name, and Dave’s is a hoot! My husband has two very sexy stripper names, which he won’t allow me to share – but two because he was adopted when he was 10, so one from the biological mother and one from who he likes to call, his “real” Mother. ๐Ÿ™‚

  8. Dave, I think “POLK” is close enough [wink].

    Great names everyone.

    I think my name “Myrtle Freemont” makes me sound like a Porn Star out of South Florida. I picture myself about seventy years old, with pre-set and backcombed hair, wearing white chunky, but low heeled, sandals. Of course I would be wearing a sun visor and lots of floral to.

    Hey and Alan, I am glad you posted yours. I couldn’t exactly remember yours or Kat’s and didn’t want to screw them up. Do you remember her’s? Post it of you do.

  9. I would be BJ Juanita. And that is HOT.

    I really wish you could have gotten Dave the T-shirt that says WHO WANTS A MOUSTACHE RIDE? on it!! That would have been perfect.

    ;P Glad you’re back!

  10. Where I’m from, we fondly call those bushy wiskers a porn-stache.

    My stripper name– Maxie Newcombe. I’ve always liked it.

  11. ahhhh! Anne Clifton! Ahahaha.

    And I just have to say you RAWK for being so honest about the stache – I saw the pics yest and thought, oh nonononono she must be going nuts. But as I am learning, not letting stuff like that get under your skin is usually the quickest way to see it disappear. I will forever think of this approach as “embracing the Duke”. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  12. Better late than never?
    Sadly, Myrtle, by *actually* living in Florida I ended up sounding like a porn star for androids:
    Terri West 32nd

  13. Cisco Oriole (for the cat)


    Chilly Willy Oriole (for the ferret)

    Some how I dont’ think that last one would work in the industry.

  14. I just got off the phone with Kat (Alan’s wife, my friend and our other traveling companion). Her Porn Star name is Maisy McFarland. I must say that I kind of like it.

  15. I am


    appearing both under and over the hill (no comments on me being over the hill) on your Tivo tonight!

    Hey hey hey baby.

  16. Tatters 1645 West. Yeah, sexy. The only other street I’ve lived on is Martin Luther King Jr. Way, which, really, is not an improvement AT ALL.

    No porn for me. ๐Ÿ™

  17. Trina Avenida is my porn name.

    I mentioned Ron Jeremy in my last post. Aren’t we supposed to spit or say “Jinx!” or something?

  18. Ha! I’ve always loved the porn name thing, and there are some sweet ones here. Mine’s Mitzi Eldorado. BOW BOW! Chica-chica.

  19. My congratulations to Dave. Iรขโ‚ฌโ„ขve not shaved my bread since I grew it immediately after leaving the army back in 1972. Iรขโ‚ฌโ„ขm concerned that, if I did shave, Iรขโ‚ฌโ„ขd not recognize myself.

  20. Greetings from Sunshine Hawthorne, who can’t wait to hear about your close encounter with Wilmer (I think he already has a porn star name).

  21. Dixie Boulder

    (I’m from Mississippi–we had a dalmation named Dumb Dumb Dixie because she was so stupid she’d get lost and forget where she lived.)

  22. I know I’m late but I’ve always loved my porn name . . .

    Miss Kitty Congo

    It’s so awesome.

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