I like Dave. I like that tonight we sat in our hotel bathroom so I could have a minute. “Dave, will you sit here with me? I need a minute. I will be quiet. I know it’s hard when I vent.”

“What? What’s wrong with the hotel?”

“I love the hotel! It is awesome!”

“Oh, was it because you have been sitting in the car all day?”

“Yep. You know I am ok sitting in the back. After so many hours being trapped, I just need to let it out.”

He smiled. I vented. He vented with me, and all was right in the world.

I love Dave.

Here is a little about our day. I hope you are totally not getting sick of these posts. I am writing while snuggled up in our hotel bed. Eli is lying next to me, going old school, playing his DS. He and Kyle are talking across the room. Dave is reading “Esquire.” The television is playing the Meg Ryan, Russell Crowe classic, “Proof of Life,” in the background. Grandma is staying in another room down the hall. She had cheese, grapes, cheese, and bread for dinner. Dave, the boys and I hit the Dublin streets and found some really awesome Mexican food at a restaurant called “Little Ass Burrito Bar,” made by Brazilians in Ireland. Yes, totally awesome.
Breaking it down:

• Our last day in Killarney. I was ready to leave our Bed and Breakfast. Is it wrong to say that the magic had worn off?
• Breakfast Memories: As we sat at our B & B breakfast (between 8:30 – 9:30 AM) we laughed as we mentioned “The Shining” shower in my and Dave’s room.  See, for our last night, Dave and I moved to our own room in the carriage house, which was just as lovely except for the scary bathroom and musty smell. Eli laughed and said, “wasn’t it more like a ‘Psycho’ shower?” To which Dave responded, “no, the little kids rode over on their trikes and opened the shower curtain.” At that I held my right index finger up to Kyle and whispered, “Redrum, redrum.” We all laughed. We needed to let off some steam. We all agreed, as lovely as the Bed and Breakfast was, as awesome as the little pony and donkey are, and as delightful as the owner is, there were definitely some hilarious horror-movie quirks. Yes, my shower did have a circa 1975-One-Flew-Over-The-Cookoo’s-Nest vibe. Eli (yes, this next part is gross) did extract a long brown hair from his scrambled eggs.  Hey, but it is a B & B, not a health code required restaurant. And the worn brown towels, I am still a little confused about them. I know it’s a picky thing, but I would have preferred white.  Now the rest of it, the land, the flowers, the big giant, lovely, wallpapered home, an incredible home on forty acres, that has remained in this Irish family for four generations is simply amazing and totally worth the stay.
• Another note on breakfast. Somewhere in our B & B evaluation, I went rogue and used the giant porridge spoon for the teaspoon. And as we listened to the music playing in the background, I sang a song, “I lost my tea in Glengariff,” because I did. I did lose my green tea in Glengariff.  As I sung my homespun tune, I decided like everyone else in Ireland, that I would make my own music CD, and just like everyone else I would sell each copy for ten Euros on the side of the road, or on the steps of the Cliffs of Moher overlook.  Ok and so by the time our Adams family breakfast dialog was coming to an end. My music CD had evolved to a band of musicians playing in a pub instead of the side of the road. Of course there would be a dulcimer, lute, banjo, and a harp.
• Grandma is here. I don’t write much about extended family anymore because, well, I don’t want to get into it. Anyway, Grandma is here, and she has been the most major part of the journey. We see here and are glad she is here.
• My grocery list: Stain remover, solvent, soap, black food coloring
• You know, that whole letting go thing?
• Proudest parenting moment. Because I birthed someone who communicates like me. In all honesty I don’t know if it is parenting or genetics, but I am THRILLED!  These are the words I heard and I am tickled, “Mom, I don’t need you to do anything, I just need you to listen.”.
• Remember I am the mom ❤
• Cahir, Ireland Public Toilet Experience. I pulled a long, old chain attached to a box, which was attached to ceiling. That was a first.
• A perfect and unexpected lunch
• Cahir
• No giant hands sign. Good one, Kyle.
• So much cow and sheep poop at the Rock of Cashel and the abandoned Abbey across the street from the Rock of Cashel.
• We didn’t pay to get into an historical site. That was awesome.
• We made it to Dublin and that is where we decompressed.
• Made Dave sit and talk in the bathroom. He was worried until he realized all is well I simply needed to blow off steam
• Eli was Facetiming while sitting in hotel tub.
• “Men At Work” remix was playing as we waited outside for our food at Little Ass Burrito, Dublin. Food was great! I want to go back.
• Dave and Kyle got ice cream on the way back.
• Our hotel is right by Grafton Street, which is so cool and makes me very happy. It is nice to be here.

This was a bullet point, but I made it into an introduction. I was sad for a minute, then wasn’t, and in truth I am still feeling really down. Unfortunately the blues can hit even when you are on the road. I think life hit me all at once. It was weird how that happens. One minute you are walking through your day, then something strikes you just right, tipping you into the abyss. Tonight what tipped me to sad is a picture of two friends on Facebook. Has that ever happened to you, or am I completely weird? Wait. Don’t answer that [wink, wink]. See, usually when my lovely friend comes to town, my other lovely friend and I meet up with her. We always have the best and most fulfilling connections.  Currently my visiting friend is in Utah while I am here. She will be gone before I get home.

Somehow today the sitting in the way, way back of the van for almost two weeks with Dave so close and yet so far away was starting to get to me.  Seeing the FB picture somehow smacked me with empty. Even though we are traveling as a family together I often feel disconnected and far apart. Talking loudly to Dave while he sits in the front seat and drives on the other side of the road is a little less than convenient with Kyle, Eli and my mother-in-law in between us. It is not really a complaint as much as it is what it is. I am grateful. I love to travel. I am here in stunning Ireland. I get how lucky I am. Unfortunately, sad moments don’t discriminate.  While she sits next to him in the passenger seat, Dave’s mom fills him with details and facts that are different than our usual travel conversation. Envious is not the right word. I feel removed. I am alone in the back seat. Kyle and Eli are fighting, joking about a YouTube video or have their headphones on. As cool of a mom as I think I may be, they understandably lose interest in having long, deep lady talks with me.  Most days I don’t mind. I like putting my headphones on and listening to my music.  Sure, I miss my singing at the top of my lungs, but music is good. Also, here are the facts: I am the size of a Fun-Size Snickers bar so I should be the one shoved in the way, way back. I know it is easier for me to get in and out of the back, and the tower of suitcases next to me only recently got on my nerves.  Tonight the sad hit me, I felt completely alone, disconnected, and couldn’t quite shake it. So when I saw the picture of my two friends, Emily and Stephanie, I longed for connection, because when I am with them it is always quick and easy to go deep. Hey, and the best part of this whole vent is I get to appreciate how lucky I am to have great friends in my life who see me and are interested in who I am. What a gift, and I am literally not feeling so sad. .

Still loving Ireland and here are some key points, because I am trying to shake it up and not use the word bullet.

• After breakfast and before we left our Gelngariff hotel: A quickie with big daddy after breakfast.
• “Stop fighting,” we say to the boys and then we talk to them about how impossibly picturesque it is.  (I remember thinking at the time, “I wonder if I will remember tonight exactly how this conversation went.” I will answer and say, “not exactly.” J
• We thought about taking a boat ride in Glengariff to the island Maureen O’hara lived on. We were walking by the boat landing. I asked the boat guy about the journey and he said there were seals, gardens, and we would not be disappointed. We decided not to take the ride and I kind of wish we had.
• Then we walked to the swimming hole on the Proudly River,
• And once there, we saw a bunch of dead jellyfish, and a fly bit Grandma’s face. The boys found giant sticks and were using them as swords, spears, and walking sticks. Crack, crack, crack I would hear as they would jump on them to get them to just the right size.
• We walked around, and I bought a dress for half price in Glengariff.
• Driving from Glengariff back to Killarney, we stopped to see the view. Dave, the boys, and I climbed high up on a rocky hill to see a view of the valley and lake below. It was there when Eli fell into an unknown Irish cactus plant and had a terrible rashy reaction. His hand was splotchy, itchy, and swollen. I gave him some Benadryl and Pepcid, and it eventually went away.
• We stopped at the Irish Wall Drug and we all agreed it was much nicer and cuter.  It was really hard not to buy anything, and I am not a big souvenir buyer.
• I like Kenmare. It is a cute Irish town.
• We ate in Kenmare at the Purple Heather.
• We are tired.
• The Kenmare Stone Circle: underwhelming at best.
• Kyle and I saw a deep voiced sheep at Avoca on the Ring of Kerry drive. We said the sheep reminded us of his friend Alex, who also has a lovely and deep voice.
• Everywhere we go people are playing music and we like it.
• Killarney National park is amazing. The black, white and grey rocky cliffs, water, and all the green remind Eli and me of Hawaii.
• A delightful bed and breakfast at the edge of the park is where we are staying tonight and probably tomorrow.
• I visited with Eileen, the B & B owner, for over an hour. I loved hearing about her world. She has four daughters, and her life seems very similar to mine. I love how we, as mothers, worry about the same things, no matter what country we live in. I love how she talked about “politics” between moms. Again, I assured her that “politics ” between mothers is a universal, and we can take comfort in knowing that we “get” it.
• I am trying to keep my mouth shut (which should have been a sign that I was feeling sad).
• We had dinner at Molly Darcy’s tonight. Yes, there was music and Irish Dancing. Pretty cool.
• Oh I think it is awesome that silverware is placed on the other side than we are accustomed too.
• After dinner we went to get a treat. Dave stopped at Tesco. The Gluten Free section at Tesco is the best I have seen in Ireland.

PS Thank you, Melissa!

  Do you hear my son whine-breathing? It has been a long day, which ended on an especially high note. Thank you, Declan and the gang!

• Up at 5:30 AM
• Remembering where DeAnne used her credit card last
• Breakfast at Starbucks. Dave and DeAnne ate the leftover raspberries.
• On our way to airport. Stopped at the Asda (Wal-mart-like) grocery to get some candy, and supplies.  My favorite was the pink ribbon straps on the package of mini-pads.
• Goodbye Leeds. You really are a lovely city.
• Ireland plans are a mess. Flight was delayed three times.
• Chocolate – wet wipes (this is my grocery list).
• Ahoy! My Period just started at the Manchester Airport!
• Cold and Rainy in Knock. Feels cozy.
• Flung my unused tampon under the stall next to me. Officially a first! Glad I had a spare.
• Our Hertz rental had 924 km on it. I’d say we scored.
• Did I forget to mention last night’s round of grateful? When we are tired and cranky there is nothing like several rounds of the gratefuls to turn things around. What you do is say start with Eli. He tells us one thing he is grateful for, then we move to Kyle and so on. Several of the rounds both boys professed their gratitude for electronics. I professed my gratitude for my headphones and Eli’s great sense of humor. I think Dave professed his gratitude that the food was coming so the gratitude game could end. Ok. I am just kidding about Dave. He was a good sport, and grateful for satellite mapping – (me too, btw.)
• Canceled our Galway hotel reservation and I am grateful!
• Walked around Galway. Lots of singing, lots of crazy, and a dude who lit part of his bike of fire for his street show followed by stating these words, “I need an audience and one way to get one is by lighting stuff on fire.” We laughed and did not stop.
• I love Ireland! It’s rugged, passionate, and most awesomely wild!
• Resetting at the Chi Asian/Malaysian bistro in Galway. Beyond delicious!
• Boys are SO tired and are fighting like crazy puppies.
• Apparently taking electronics away from the boys enables them to not only speak to each other, but speak kindly to one another. They also break into song. Adorable!. Just now they stated that they only wish  their fried Clara was here  singing with them.
• Third time we’ve seen a tractor used as a car. This time the tractors was parked at the gas station that had a gluten free section. They tractor dude and his passenger were leaving when we were. At one point Dave exclaimed, “We better hurry, the tractor is right behind us.”
• Without my glasses and with my terrible pronunciation I am slaughtering Irish words. I kind of like it. And of course all respect to the beautiful Gaelic language.
• Mommy (that is me) scored on the hotel find. We are staying at the Ballinalacken Castle Hotel. I think Grandma may have shed a silent tear of joy.
• And on that note, this long day is coming to an end.  It was a good one. And seriously I am so tired my memory is fading.  Loved sitting with Dave at the end of the long day and looking out onto the ocean.  We could still see the sky at 11:00 PM.
• All you back home, enjoy our day! We miss you!

Trip, Day 10, by the way 🙂