Snubbed.
And by the way,
Ouch!
For me, and I am assuming most women, feeling snubbed is one of the most immediately painful reactions we ladies can have. As my husband beautifully stated, snubbing is one of the most effective ways a woman has to punish another woman. The deep sting and simultaneous hurt of someone else purposefully invalidating and rejecting us is a pain like no other.
To be snubbed can actually be a gift. It was for me.
Namaste.
Peace.
Huzzah!
Sunday morning I woke up before the alarm. It was supposed to go off at 4:30 AM. After only three hours of sleepI was awake at 4:10 AM. After a long weekend of Blogher-ing, I had to get ready for my flight that was leaving San Jose at 6:24 AM. Quietly (so as not to wake anyone) I tried to focus on my face so I could actually see and hopefully wash it. Deliriously I put my clothes on. Then, I triple-checked, hugged my two hotel Blogher-hotel-mates, and was one my way. I made it to the airport. Then I promptly met my favorite Blogher attendee at the airport, got on my plane and flew home.
Then by 11:45 PM that Sunday evening, and by some wonderful twist of fate, I found myself hanging out with my new friends Julie, from the NYC, Pete, um, and his wife and my new best friend, Robin.
I think the most fabulous part of all is when I was finally able to meet Julie face-to-face. We met over the internet. Then magically Sunday afternoon found ourselves sitting in my living room. How crazy is that? Crazy cool, that is! Oh internet, you are opening such a completely different and most interesting world to me. Sitting with Julie seemed so natural. It does not hurt that Julie knows many of my friends. Months ago, when she and I discovered how connected we really are, all barriers delightfully (I hope) melted away. In the flesh, Julie is better than I could have ever imagined. And hey, considering this was an online meet, you and I both know that better-than-expected is a very big deal.
Then Julie did what good people do. She generously welcomed me into her amazing world (invited me to a really cool party). I remain in a state of wonderment. Alas, all I can think about these great people I have just met is:
Where have you been all my life?
And then like that, the clock struck twelve and we were dragging our crazed and screaming children out of the Ashdown compound.
Thank you Julie (even though you actually live far far away), you and your gorgeous rockstar friends, make me feel close.
Needless to say I left my camera in my hotel room all weekend long.
With the sleep deprivation and estrogen overload, this weekend is kind of a blur. Of course I think I was the only person there who did not have her own personal business cards or digital camera strapped around her neck. (Yes, I am a DORK and I am still mad about leaving my camera in my hotel room.) I want to thank all of the people I met. You totally opened up my world. I also want to mention a few of these many wonderful people, people who gave me wonderfully designed business cards, shared a room with me, hugged me and made leaving my kids for a few days worth every single second. This has been a difficult time and going to Blogher, away from my safety net, enabled me to FINALLY CRY, something I have needed to do for three weeks.
I
I learned a lot this weekend. Mostly, I learned how small I am in all of this. There are some amazing women out there. I also learned a brutally hard lesson once again and face-to-face that once you put something out there, you can never ever ever take it back. Please count to ten before posting something you may regret and please, please be careful with what you say. You may think people will understand your intent, but you never ever know how it will be received.
[UPDATE 2.19.13: Oh how fun it would be to Mystery-Science-Theater-3000 some of these old posts, even a Director’s Cut would do.]
The other day, we were standing in our front yard when Eli began looking up at the sky. That is when he stopped and I could see his brain wheels churning. Then he giggled:
Hey Mom, did you know that the Sun is the Earth’s lightbulb?
Of course I asked him if he learned this amazing fact on television and he giggled once more and replied,
Nope, I just thought of it myself.
The boys have found their Halloween costumes and have put them on. I have just re-painted my toenails because I seriously smudged my hot and sexy pedicure. I don’t get pedicures often, but I wanted one for this weekend. Why? Because I bought myself a last minute plane ticket and I am going to Blogher. I still can’t believe I am going, but thanks to good people, I am. I am nervous and nervous to leave my boys. If you happen to be reading this and also happen to be going to Blogher, if you see me, please stop and say hello or drop me comment or an email. Sometimes I am shy and sometimes I am terribly deep in thought.
P.S. I have felt better this week. Oddly enough, my Yoda post really helped. Thank you all for your input. It really does make a difference.