It is no secret that I love to be on the road. Most folks know that once I am home I am thinking of our next adventure and am always grateful we get to go. As a result of my (our) wanderlust, a good portion of our life together has been spent on the road. We travel as a family. We travel as a couple. Before the boys were born, Dave and I traveled together on business. I believe our first business trip was to Internet World Los Angeles 1997, then to Chicago, Minneapolis, New York and back to Los Angeles two years later — all for Internet Worlds. After the boys were born, Dave continued traveling with work. In our recent past Dave has not being doing as much business travel. During this time we filled in the spaces with big family adventures.
As of late, Dave is back in his travel-a-lot-for-business mode. His current out-of-town-all-the-time routine reminds us of what it was like when Kyle was a baby. Back then we were living in the Washington DC area (Northern Virginia). Dave traded time between Washington DC, random business trips and Raleigh, North Carolina, his company’s headquarters. Kyle was and still is an easy traveler. He began traveling at three months old. Kyle’s first trip was to Boston, next to Washington DC, and then a flight back to Utah. Back then Kyle and I often traveled with Dave. By the time we flew to places like San Diego and Tampa, Kyle (and now Eli) were pros. As a result, adjusting to new experiences came easy. When Dave had a speaking engagement at San Diego’s Hotel Del Coronado, Kyle and I joined him. The best memory of that trip was putting a giant metal, old-fashioned crib into a closet. By the way the closet was actually the size of a small bedroom. See, we used the closet door to block Kyle’s view of our bed. The door was an awesome barrier. If Kyle could see us, he refused to sleep. Another time we tagged along to Dave’s Tampa-based business trip. Sorry Florida. I spent a lot of time with you as a child. I am not a natural fan of your state. Consequently, I would never chose Tampa as a destination. Because we had a free hotel and mostly free travel and we were together, we were open. Florida became awesome. I didn’t even mind our weirdly out-of-date-golf-resort lodging. (We don’t even golf, by the way). And because we were already in Florida, we thought we should tack a few days onto the end. We did and found our way to the overly-tourist-filled Gulf Coast. I loved standing with toddler Kyle in those emerald waters. Even with tales of shark attacks in its recent past, the Gulf Coast was bliss. I knew Kyle was safe as I watched him giggle and splash with Dave by his side.
Us
Airplanes are Kyle and Eli’s sweet spot (they still are). As soon as the airplane took off, the engine noise lulled them quickly to sleep. I did not want these days to end. The boys were young and travel was easy bliss. Kids under two fly free, if you hold them, and at the time there were often extra seats. People were always willing to move and accommodate us so we could sit together. I loved when people would say,
“Your boys are so good!” (they were). Um, and thank goodness. The boys were not always awesome so it was nice to have an “awesomely behaved boys” space we could consistently count on.
You get it. We love travel. In fact I would argue that everyone who knows us knows that we still travel as often as we can — locally and far, far away. Nothing is better than the day we drove to Antelope Island on the Great Salt Lake. As much busy as Dave’s workload is and as much as he travels, it is not as easy to tag along. This week Dave is in San Francisco. One day we were talking when I expressed the following sentiment:
“Hey, I think I need to go with you next time. I think we all do.”
Dave responded, “Yes. I think you do. Let’s make it work.”
I love that about Dave. He knows me well and supports my travel love.
Dave and Kyle, Rob’s Trail, Park City, Utah
This week I am off-kilter. Some weeks with a commuting husband are easier than others. Did I mention what I meant by Dave traveling all the time for business is that Dave is now commuting to San Francisco each week. Having a commuting husband (while I stay put) is a huge adjustment.I have talked to many friends that say when their spouse travels it is harder to sleep. I agree. Every single time Dave hits the road I take a few days to get used to the profound absence of my snuggly bed warmer. Sure, there is an upside [wink, wink]. With him gone, I do not have to deal with an eye-rolling spouse. There is no one here to pushback when I say et the kids have ice cream for dinner, (something Dave would most definitely not approve of). By the way, I actually did let the boys have ice cream for dinner. Please tell Dave that they did have a very healthy and big snack after school: yogurt, whole grain bread, an apple, a banana and a cheese stick. Right now I would trade a thousand stubborn eye rolls to have him here. I miss him. I miss our face to face conversations, especially the ones we have after the kids go to bed. At this very moment I am waiting for him to get home. I am dying to watch our shows. I am tempted to watch the latest episode of “Sons of Anarchy” without him. I won’t.
With Dave away, tonight’s walk was a lot scarier. So was last night’s walk too. Tonight I swear the backhoe parked on the side of the road was a person lying in wait. I was sure that the scary dude (backhoe) would jump out and get (do something horrific) to the boys and I. I think Eli thought the thought that backhoe was a person too. When someone’s outside light flickered and shined on the backhoe, we both jumped . I took a breath and heard Dave’s words in my head,
“Beth, it is just a backhoe.”
Kyle encouraged us along, which is a very cool thing about your kids getting older and bigger, by the way. My boys can protect me! That being said, I totally missed holding Big Daddy’s hand. An at the sight of that killer backhoe, I wanted Dave. I missed having Dave’s arm to squeeze. I promise I would squeeze the blood right out of it.
We flew EasyJet from Geneva, Switzerland to Gatwick, England. I loved our time in Geneva. I mean, I love, love loved our time traveling from Geneva to Gruyere and then onto Montreux, where we hung out at the stunning Château de Chillon. After Montreux, we drove the windy, grapevine-covered roads to Chamonix, France (Mont Blanc territory), which guess what, yes, we also loved. Seriously, the second I saw the those three-hundred sheep cross the road in Chamonix, Dave and I insisted (for about the billionth time) that we find a way to bring the boys here. “They would love this! Really! No. No. I am not kidding. Look. Look at those crazy sheep! And the dog. It is going nuts. The sheep herders are so cool. This is awesome!” I giddily exclaimed. “Dave, we need to find a way.”
He agreed, and since our 2011 European adventure-business trip, we have been trying to find a way. Wait. In truth, since our 2010 Ireland Adventure-Business trip, we have wanted to take the boys to Europe. And if I was really honest, I have always dreamt of taking our boys here. We will find a way.
Beth & Dave Dublin, Ireland 2010Us Above Lake Geneva, Switzerland 2011
With my new Swatch in hand (I know, how appropriate), we left our lovely Switzerland behind. A short flight later we landed, gathered our carry-ons and headed for customs. Passports stamped and on the other side, we had to walk at least twenty-seven miles [wink wink] until we made our way to the Gatwick Airport Hilton Hotel. Step after tired step, I doubted and then asked, “Really? Really, the hotel is literally connected to the airport?” “Yes. Yes, Beth it is.” Dave answered as we walked the seemingly never-ending airport pathways. And then a happy thought occurred to me, “Europe is on to something and what they are onto is something really healthy. You really can’t go wrong walking miles of airport hallways. You are actually forced to walk a very long way even before you can find a cab, your car or even your hotel. And those delightfully cute old ladies on bicycles, well, they sure seem a better choice then the scooters you ride to get around Disneyland. Go Europe! May your life span be longer than ours, (especially the cute old ladies on bicycles).” We made it. We checked in, found our room and settled in for the night and with laptops phones and laptops charging, I snuggled in our hotel bed and uploaded hundreds of pictures.
Gatwick Hilton Shower
Initially our plan was to spend the night at Gatwick, rent a car and make our way into London and then head on to Brighton. Our day started with that plan. We enjoyed our lovely hotel breakfast after showering in our super cool hotel shower. “Why mention the shower,” you ask? Well, it was really amazing and very European in a comfortably American way. Way to go Hilton! We packed up, checked our email, video chatted with my mom and the boys and we were on our way. I did lose Dave somewhere in there yet with Dave’s expert knowledge and experience of left-side-of-the-road driving we were safely on our way. We found our way to Kensington where I had noticed (because Dave had located it on the Map first) the Whole Foods. Shame on me. I was in another country and I needed a little piece of home. The Kensington, England Whole Foods, however, is the most lovely and amazing Whole Foods I have ever shopped at. We figured out that if we spend twenty-five Pounds we could get two hours of free parking. No problem. We ordered a fancy Vermicelli made-to-order Noodle Lunch and I video-chatted again with my mom and the boys. Double bonus. I shed a few glorious tears as I found several new dark chocolate candy bar varieties. I was buying and then taking the coconut dark chocolate one home. Yum! We paid for our goods, left paradise, walked the super cool and fancy London Hipster neighborhood and were happy that we had our two-free-parking-hours to explore this part of town. Directly behind Whole Foods, out of the hustle, bustles and hipster-ness, Dave and I found the most adorable neighborhood. It is something out of dreams or movies or both. We talked about how much money we would have to make to live here. “Could we do it?” I was in heaven.
Barclays Cycle Hire
Our two hours was up and we wanted to see London. We found our way to some great street parking just outside the “congestion zone” where you have to pay a fee to drive your car, and we walked to the edge of Hyde Park where we picked up our first set of Barclays rental bikes. Dave had figured out if you swap your bike at one of the many Barclays-bike-stops every forty-five minutes, your bike rental was limitless and would only cost you one Pound for the day.
Man Dipping Feet into Buckingham Palace Fountain
We made our way through Hyde Park and biked our way from Barclays stop to Barclays stop. We biked around Buckingham Palace, where we saw a man talking to himself chastising the world about the use of flash photography and then out of nowhere he took his socks off and dipped his bare feet into the Buckingham Palace fountain. We biked through the city on to to Big Ben during Rush Hour traffic and over to Trafalgar Square. We stopped and walked. We stopped for snacks and to take lots and lots of pictures. My favorite things were the red telephone booths. How British, right?
Red Telephone Booth just outside of Trafalgar Square
We biked and biked and saw and saw, past the London Eye all the way to Westminster Abbey. Gleefully I took in all the things we had only seen in pictures. Everyone was biking and as the sun set we made our way back through Hyde Park and back to our car. I loved it! We loved it! What a great way to see London. We made our way back to Whole Foods. I am not kidding. Hey, you cannot go wrong with free parking and free WiFi and thankfully we did find free WiFi because after checking some emails and listening to some voicemails we learned we needed to fly home the next day. We had booked and expensive hotel for the night and our flight left early. Dave and I looked at each other and I think we both had the same idea. “Hey, let’s skip the hotel and stay up all night.” We thought it sounded crazy good. We made our way to a few stores for last minute gifts and then we decided it would be hilarious to rent those bikes again. “Wouldn’t it be cool to bike London in the middle of the night?” So we did. It was even better then our daytime ride. By now we had a handle on things. We found areas that were hard to get to during the day, places we would never know about like St. Katherine’s Dock. We biked. We laughed. We felt entirely safe. Surprisingly or not so, we ran into several other all-night tourists, even some tourists on bikes. My very favorite part was biking back and forth over the Tower Bridge. Glee! It really was pure unadulterated glee! Dave and I did not know when the last time was that we had not only been up all night, but had been out all night long too. We felt free. We felt grateful. We saw London in a way we never imagined and it was perfect.
Me Biking on the Tower Bridge, London, England 2011
We made our way to the rental car place where we repacked our luggage and changed our clothes. Best night ever. Who cares that we had $400.00 cash stolen from Dave’s coat, $400.00 we could have spent on a fancy London hotel, during our ten hour stop in Chicago. At least they didn’t take our passports. We were home, safe and already convincing the boys we needed to go back. “Boys, we have to bike over the Tower of London Bridge together. It will be awesome!” Now they are convinced. In truth, once they heard the word, “castle,” they were totally in.
Baby Bear in the road the Mountains of New Mexico, 2004
New Mexico, April 2004
Mese Verde, April, 2004
Side Mirror
Cuba, New Mexico, April 2004
The boys Portland August 2003
The boys Portland
The Boys BC, Canada, July 2003
Popping the pop top one last time before we sold her.
Us Oregon August 2004
Kyle & Eli Union Square, San Francisco, CA, 2003
Dave working on his laptop in the camper van
On the Road July 2003
Our friend Kevin Met up with us Summer 2003
Hanging out at our Homebase in American Fork, UT 2003
Easy E looking the camper van mirror Late 2002
Glacier National Park July 2003
Minnesota August 2004
EXACTLY Ten years ago we hit the road. We had been living in the Washington DC area and had just sold our house. Dave had just sold his company, was on a semi-retired hiatus and perhaps feeling the success of his early internet dreams fulfilled, he had this crazy-crackers scheme to travel for a year or so in a Camper Van. I am not making this up.
See, earlier in the summer he proposed the idea to me. We were sitting in our office. The kids were asleep. I could tell he had something important to say because he turned his chair toward me, looked at me and said, “Beth, I have this idea.” Let me just preface this next part by saying that anytime Dave has an idea I am equally excited and traumatized. His ideas are big. His ideas have taken us far and once in a while his ideas seem a little too crazy for this world. I like what Dave’s close friends have said, “Beth, you and Dave are a great fit. When he gets one of his crazy, big ideas, you know how to reign him in.” They are right – and better – maybe I am the balance, or at least have the most excellent organizing and in this case, packing skills, to enable Dave’s brilliant and brave dreams. At least that is how I like to see it.
Yes, it is true. After I heard his hey-lets-take-our-wild-toddler-and-spazzy-baby-around-the-USA-and-Canada-for-a-year-or-so-in-a-camper-van idea, I absolutely thought he was nuts. “How are we going to travel with a baby and a toddler (we hit the road when Eli was eight months and Kyle was two and a half)?” I asked him. “That is a loooonnnnngggg time on the road!”
After a lot talking, I insisted that, before we buy the van, at the very least we take a substantial road trip before we made this gigantic life change. Although the boys had already logged in thousands of airline miles, up until then the boys had only flown long distances or taken short road trips. We packed, gathered books, snacks, dvds and our laptops. Back then in-car dvd players were new and the iPod Touch was a thing of future dreams. We strapped our boys into their Britax car seats in our truck, and hit the road, traveling to Minneapolis, my hometown. Lovely. The trip was lovely. Bringing Dave to my favorite memories is magic I always hold close. He saw the Brainerd, MN Paul Bunyan statue in the flesh. How awesome is that? On our way to Duluth we had to make a stop at dusk only to be attacked by a horror movie’s worth of Mosquitos. I laughed as Dave quickly rushed back into the car swatting mosquitos for another twenty miles. Sharing these experiences together, he saw Duluth for the first time and we both saw the rolling fog of Grand Marais for the very first time too. The kids were great. I mean, so much better than I could have hoped for. After making it all the way to Northern Minnesota from Washington DC, I actually believed we could pull off this traveling-as-a-family-in-a-camper-van dream.
Those early travel days were dotted with slides, walkways and sandboxes. We learned that stopping at any park along the way was an important part of the journey. If we could find a park, the boys could get out their wiggles. And honestly, I think through their eyes, through our necessity to stop and let our kids breathe, I have been able to see a whole and very cool new world. Even now we always look for a good place for the boys to explore and roam.
After spending time with my family and friends we made our way back home. I gave my OK and after Dave bid for it on eBay, we flew to Southern Florida where we purchased our 2002 Eurovan Camper. Excitedly we drove off the lot on that very hot summer day when the Air Conditioner stopped working just miles from the dealership! True Story! We spent another week at the beach while it was fixed (Summer in South Floria with no AC is no fun) and then made our way back to DC. Favorite stops: St. Augustine, FL. Who would expect this super old Colonial town just down the road from the Spring-Break-Capital of the world? Other favorite stop: Savannah, GA. I hope the gold-tooth-grill-kiosk is still at the mall on the town’s outskirts.
Back in DC, our house sold, we packed our things and said our goodbyes. The goodbyes I said back then are still some of the hardest. Kyle and Eli were leaving their good pals Quinn, Max, Emma, Maddie & Winston, and Dave and I were saying goodbye to our dear friends. Bittersweet were those moments. I remember my friend Stephanie as we said our last goodbyes saying, “You know I can’t say it. It is hard to see you go.” I felt it. In her words I felt our worlds change. She and I had spent nearly everyday watching our husbands dream and watching our boys grow. With tears in my eyes and the frog in my throat huge, I choked back my sobs. I did not want to go, yet I was excited to fulfill our dream.
We left our little piece of Heaven in Northern Virginia, made our way only as far as West Virginia, spending our very first fancy-camper-van-night at cold and rainy gas station on the side of the road. I had to hold Eli until fell asleep as my excitement quickly faded into fear. Mornings and the laughter of toddler Kyle in his pajamas on the side of the road erased my panic. It was a new day. I took a deep breath and we drove west, establishing rules of the road and labeling an old Nalgene bottle “Pee Cup.” Man it is nice to have boys. We stopped in St. Louis to see my brother Bill. Leaving Bill and his boys we drove through my favorite college town, Columbia, Missouri and unto Colorado, where we drove through Rocky Mountain National Park on the highest paved through road in the Continental US. We were on our way and were once again following our dreams.
We chose Utah as a home base, never ever planning to stay here long. My mom was here. She could watch our things while we were away and our friend Kim graciously let us crash at her condo while we were in town. We wanted to explore the west and Utah made sense at the time. We usually took three week trips and made our way through Canada and all over the Western US. I loved it. I hated it and once back in Utah, I could not wait to hit the road. Moraine Lake in Banff National Park is still one of my favorites. Watching Kyle canoe on the beautiful mountain water was divine. And then getting to stand on the dock during a helicopter mountain rescue was pure delight. I wish the boys remembered as much as we do. We have pictures. They hear stories and this was our time to be parents of these beautiful little boys.
I fell in love with Vancouver, BC and tried to figure out how we could move there. Border Patrol was so much more intense near Seattle then it was in Montana. We had to get out of the car because I had apples, and see my Fuji Apples from the Vancouver Farmer’s Market were not allowed to enter the country. Eventually we made it through onto Seattle, then Portland. Our camper van took us to San Francisco, Los Angeles, Las Vegas, Big Sur, Moab, Montana, New Mexico, Idaho, Nevada and Arizona. I am sure I am missing a state or two in there.
My very favorite part really was the kids. They thought living in a camper van was the best thing ever. Kyle was over the moon to be able to sleep in the pop-up part with Dave each night. Eli was too small and wiggly. I loved those seconds as his little body released in my arms as he drifted off to sleep. I miss those moments of snuggling him close. Towards the end our camper van journeys Dave and I were able to sleep on the same level. I liked that best.
I think it was those camper van days that have made the boys open and fearless. They know how to travel. They entertain themselves best while on the road. In the van when they had watched one too many “Land Before Time” movies, I would hand them a book of stickers or some dollar store Band-Aids. They spent hours covering themselves with every last one. It was hilarious and it is these moments that have forever changed and bettered my world. I am grateful. Happy Tenth Anniversary, Camper Van! We miss you!
—
PS: The links I have added to this post link back to original camper-van-travel posts. I am surprised at how different my memories of those times are. I love the Eli-barfing story on the Moab link. It is sad and hilarious! Enjoy!
The boys eating their Voodoo Doughnuts at Voodoo Doughnuts, Portland, OR
It has been declared that our road trip Portland, Oregon, the long way round, was the best trip of our summer 2012! My boys are a little spoiled. They had a few trips to choose from. We usually fly, but this was the summer we deliberately chose to hit the road and yes, we loved it! We wanted to see things off the beaten path, things we would have to drive far to get to even if we flew. Consequently, leaving the house with my pillow on my lap, our car packed brim-full, electronics charged and ready to use, made the most sense.
I have mentioned this before. I am sure I have also stated with great pride and or frustration that I am afflicted with Wanderlust. I love to move. I love to fly. I love to travel. My boys, well, they are willing participants in all my adventurous schemes. Ok. Wait. Sure, there are rare times when I hear, “Mom, can I just stay home?” Or my very favorite said by a four-year-old Eli, just as we approached downtown Portland, Oregon, “Hey, Mom, Dad, I have an idea. Next time let’s take an airplane.” That was nearly six years ago.
And with the memory of that long-ago trip wiped away I asked the boys earlier what they thought. Our daily drives to and from school facilitate some of our most notable conversations. Today was no exception. And because I am itching to leave town (I am always up for an adventure), I started with a directed please-take-me-back-to-our-amazing-adventures travel inquiry. “Boys, what was your favorite trip of the summer?”
As I eagerly anticipated their response, Eli piped in and admitted that Los Angeles was awesome because we were able to eat at Baja Fish Tacos. Even with Baja Fish Tacos’ strong standing, when it came right down to it, hands down, simultaneously and in sync they both insisted, “Portland! We loved our trip to Portland! We did so many cool things and got to be with all of our friends and family.” Once Portland, Oregon was voted tops, of course I had to ask, “What was your favorite thing we did?”
Dave had the ice cream sampler at Ruby Jewel
“Well Mom, you know we went to Ruby Jewel ice cream shop six times so that has to be our favorite.” Eli is correct. During our two-week Portland, Oregon stay we visited the Mississippi Avenue Ruby Jewel six times. Not once. Not twice, but six, I-need-two-hands-to-show-you-how-many-fingers times. The homemade gourmet ice cream is worth every repeat visit. How many ice cream shops do you know serve Strawberry Basil or Blueberry Lavender with Lemon Cookie ice cream? Yum and kooky! For us non-dairy consumers, there is nothing like Strawberry Coconut sorbet – and I am guessing the Marion Berry Vanilla isn’t bad either. Truth-be-told even when I added a scoop of another flavor, until they ran out, I always ordered the Strawberry Coconut.
About now I see that “edible material” (thank you Thesaurus) definitely influences the places we like to be. I am starting to think my sons, especially Eli, are becoming Foodies. Go Eli! I am sure if asked he would totally understand the concept of Farm to Table. Actually I would love to hear his take.
Ok let me back up and fill you in with some important travel details. See, when I call our trip, “Portland, the long way round,” I am not kidding. We drove from Park City, UT to Jackson Hole, Wyoming, traveling through Teton National Park then on to Yellowstone. We made our way to the very north entrance of Yellowstone and headed to Bozeman, MT. Stopping briefly in Bozeman, we headed next to Missoula, MT and then on to Spokane, WA where we spent the night with friends. Am I wearing you out? Yet, when asked, Portland, the long way round, was their favorite trip. They are crazy road-tripping fools and I am grateful. The boys say I am organized, but really, so are my well-traveled kids. They each pack their backpacks full of books, iPad Touches, DSIs and other kid-approved entertainment. The always have some sort of Bar: Luna, Cliff or Lara, and water bottles are a must.
Cathedral Tree Trail Astoria, OregonThe Astoria Column
Once the car was loaded and the electronic devices were charged, we left Spokane and headed to Portland, OR, dropping Dave off at a tiny airport in WA. He had a business trip in San Francisco and traveled with us (literally) as far as he could. He would meet up with us in a few days. After managing the extremely windy roads of I-84 along the Columbia Gorge, we arrived in Portland at midnight, stayed another two weeks until driving back home to Park City. It sounds crazier and with too many details for one post now that I write it all down. Good thing about blogs is I can write more posts and I can write more about this crazy awesome trip like about our day in Astoria, where we did the Cathedral Tree Hike to the Astoria Column, which was voted another favorite. And I would say my favorites are the street festivals that are filled with the best people watching ever!
Mammoth Hot Springs Yellowstone National Park
As our driving-home-from-school conversation continued, I asked
“Did you like the Hot Springs as much as I did? Eli, do you remember the waterfall-producing rainbow at the Grand Canyon of Yellowstone?”
When Yellowstone came up, because I brought it up, they told me what they loved the most. “Mom, I loved that we were traveling with our friends. I loved that we stayed in the Yellowstone Hotel and I loved that we saw that famous and old Yellowstone Lodge.”
As we talked about all the hikes – and there were a lot of them – we all remembered how sick Kyle had been. I remembered the fear I felt at Jenny Lake in Grand Teton National Park. It was our first hike. After driving all day, our friend Doug wanted to take us there. Kyle cried. The others went ahead. I walked alone with Kyle. I pleaded with him to continue. He was clearly ill. Eventually Kyle and I met up with Dave. I was worried. It was the beginning of our trip and I did not know if Kyle was going to be sick the entire time. When we met up with Eli and the rest of Doug’s family, I went on ahead with them and Doug stayed back with Kyle and Dave. The hike ended as Dave and our friend Doug coaxed Kyle along. Tears and screams were heard for miles, but Kyle made it. And as we all talked about Jenny Lake, Kyle reminded me of how only two days later we were on a hike he did not want to quit when he said, “Hey Mom, my favorite hike was that waterfall hike we did with our friends outside of Bozeman. The only problem with the hike is that we had to leave before I was ready to go.” True.
The waterfall on our Bozeman, MT hike
Kyle pulled through and today as we talked I thought to myself, “Yes, and the thing I remember about the Bozeman Hike was that on the way there was a naked man in the reservoir, who happened to be swimming Sunny-Side-Up and waving at us right by the side of the road.”
Eli, and his Portland hair, courtesy of Dave’s best friend, Justin
Tuesday, July 31, I was in bed thinking all was as it should be, Dave woke up and left for work. Work in Portland, you ask? A few months ago Dave’s brother Dennis and Dave’s best friend, Justin, bought a church. Dennis and Justin are business partners/property developers. They bought a church and now they have offices at the Alberta Abby (as they call it). No really what we like to call it is the Downtown Abby because it is close to Downtown Portland and we think we are funny because we are making a Downton Abby reference. Dave left, asked me to take it easy, I cleaned, did what I do and I got ready for lunch. Dave would be home at noon and we were meeting a good friend, David Roy, and his wife. We would be meeting his wife for the first time and had just reconnected with him after sixteen years, which is an important plot point. Our friend is this most awesome guy and really if it were not for him, Dave and I probably would have never really started hanging out. I have always been grateful. We saw our old friend a few days before at a get together and the night had gone so well that we set our lunch date.
I was excited to meet his wife. I was excited to renew our connection. I met him through an old boyfriend and we reminded each other that this certain old boyfriend always would say, “Once you meet David Roy, you will like him better than me.” Guess what? My boyfriend was right. David Roy and I became besties and Dave and I were always sad that we had lost touch. Lunch would be a good thing. Dave and I arrived first, were seated and our friend David arrived Portland style (on his bike) and dripping from the afternoon heat and humidity. He warned us that his wife was bringing Che, their dog, and asked if we wouldn’t mind eating outside. David’s lovely wife arrived. I had already been to the bathroom once by that time. We were all seated and I just thought I was continuing on my miscarriage way. Our food arrived, I felt another gush and excused myself from the table. By the third time this happened I had to excuse Dave as well. He had the car keys and I needed more supplies. Ok, so, how do you tell your friend you haven’t seen in a million years and his wife that you just met, “Um, so I have bled through my protection three times in an hour. Every time I go to the bathroom the tissue expelled is greater than the time before?” So weird. I know I am telling the internet, but like I have told those who have asked, “I control the output and I do not have to look into your eyes and tell you this.” It’s true. My blog is a little space I hope you come to, but know you chose to be here. Does that make sense? Anyway, the conversation was actually really good. We caught up with each other, learned about Geology and made jokes about my old boyfriend. We had to. The best one. . .wait. . . there are two best ones. I will tell the appropriate one here. So one time years ago my old boyfriend and I were driving from Minnesota to Utah when he noticed that there was an outlet mall near Mount Rushmore. Instead of seeing Mount Rushmore (understandable) or the Black Hills or Deadwood (not understandable), we went to the Ralph Lauren Outlet. Hilarious. As David Roy and I parted ways, we promised not to lose touch again. I started realizing there may actually be a problem. Every single time I have miscarried it has always been the same. Always! I have super bad cramps, lose a lot of tissue for a day or a few hours and then it’s like a regular heavy menstrual cycle. That whole process happened the day before at the park. At this point I was bleeding more, not less.
In the car I remembered the Sage words of my OB, “If you soak more than one pad an hour, go to the ER.” I was soaking three. I called her and wanted to make sure I was not overreacting. “Beth, if this does not settle down in two hours, you need to go in.” I called another Portland girlfriend for hospital suggestions (thank you, Carrie) and waited. While I waited Dave and I picked up the boys and then we took Dave back to the Abby while the bleeding only increased. Trying to keep my mind off of things and knowing I would have to break our OMSI date, I asked the kids if they wanted to go and get ice cream from Ruby Jewel. “Of course we do.” Kyle sweetly responded and then Eli inserted, “Mom, do you know this will be the sixth time we have gone to Ruby Jewel since we came to Portland.” I didn’t know it was six, but I knew it was up there. We made our way over to the Mississippi Avenue neighborhood of Portland where I enjoyed my Salt Lime/Burnt Orange Sorbet combo. I had no idea that it would be the last thing I would eat for hours (which to me felt like days).
Kyle, Eli and I outside of Trader Joe’s in Portland, OR
My kids are tweens. They know I have been pregnant and have been very good about helping me and keeping my crazy pregnant behavior to themselves. Now looking way back in early June I should have known I was pregnant that day I was dead dog tired at the after school talent show Pogo Practice that something was up. I didn’t. I bet my boys did. I just thought it was the LMFAO-Party-Rock-disorganized-mayhem of trying to get six distracted boys to learn their pogo routine. That day and always my boys have had my back. These past months when I missed hikes with their friend’s mothers, Kyle and Eli did not say anything like, “Hey so my mom is pregnant. She really can’t go on a hike because she thinks she is going to puke.” I have asked them to keep my secret and have also told them the truth along the way. So on our ice cream adventure it made perfect sense to give them the heads up. “Ok guys, you know because of last night I lost the baby, but now things are getting a little weird so we may go get things checked so I will be ok.” I told them while driving back to our Portland digs. “Mom, we just want you to be ok.” Kyle quickly said.
I muscled through for another hour and called Dave. “Hey, so I am still bleeding. Well, actually it is worse. We should probably get it checked. I am on my way to get you.” The hospital was close and we were on our way.
Dave dropped Kyle and me off. “Kyle, you come with me. You know hospitals.” I said while Dave and Eli parked. I checked in and then talked with the admitting nurse. She was very hung up on the fact that I have been giving myself two shots of Heparin a day for the past two months. I assured her she could call my doctor. I assured her that the dose was small and metabolizes quickly. I know about people taking you down the wrong medical path and was starting to wish I had never ever mentioned this lame miscarriage prevention treatment. I did and I was stuck.
Nevertheless she took me seriously and got me in a room fast. Calm. I was calm. When my male nurse talked to me, I was calm. “I am bleeding. I’m from out of town (he never heard the out of town part) and my doctor recommended I come in.” I asked him about D&C’s and what they could do. “Oh, we don’t perform D&C’s at our hospital (BIG FAT LIE).” He said. “Really?” I pushed. My nurse did not like that I did not want my IV in the crook of my elbow. Have you ever had an IV there? They hurt! He was utterly convinced that I was an idiot and that I was taking Lovinox (another blood thinner), not Heparin. “Um, Heparin is cheaper. I promise I am taking Heparin.” I insisted. He mocked. Do you want his name? I am still thinking I will write the hospital. Nevertheless when my situation became more critical (way more cool and interesting) he was there.
Better than the elbow regionThe boys making the best of this tiny ER room
The kids had made their way to my room. I actually had a room. They were bored, hungry and Eli kept asking, “Mom, when will this be done? When can we leave? Dad, I am hungry.”
Dave’s consistent response was, “We are not leaving until we know what is going on with mom.” Yay, Dave!
I put my sandals back on because my nurse went to dinner and forgot my socks.
iPod Touches were in full operation and Kyle turned my above TV onto the Travel Channel. “Mom, it’s Bizarre Foods! I love that show.” In between watching the Bizarre Foods guy eat Bull Penis (Yes, Bull Penis) I cramped. I bled and Dave took me and my IV to the bathroom. Over and over I went to the bathroom. The first bathroom to the right had pee all over the floor so I made sure to keep my sandals on. Yes, I asked my lovely nurse for socks and yes, he went to dinner instead. I texted a few friends, one being our ER doctor friend. Asked about Heparin. Made jokes about the nurse and waited for the doctor. Here is one of my texts:
“Doctor (super awesome doctor) just came in. He is so much better than the nurse. Agreed with me about Heparin (it has nothing to do with my bleeding and has already metabolized). If the nurse wants to be a doctor, he should go to medical school. Still bleeding and a ton of pain.” 7:15 PST
And by 7:47 PM PST my Park City girlfriend was texting me. Dave had just left with the boys and was coming back after he got them fed. I walked myself to the bathroom. I could not believe the blood. I could not believe the hours and hours of increased clots and bleeding. As I sat on the toilet, a giant clot flipped out and landed on my ankle. I know it’s gross. I just need to say it. I was in shock and a giant piece of blood clot was sitting on my ankle. So so crazy! I cleaned myself up, lifted my IV bag off the hook and walked back in the room. A sweet young med tech was standing there about to tell me something when I felt the gush. It felt like someone had just broken my water. “Um, I do not know what is happening.” I told her. “I think I need some help.” I just stood there.
“What do you need?” She asked. “I think I need to go to the bathroom again. Will you help me?”
“Of course. Whatever you need.” She said and I kept apologizing while saying, “I do not know what is happening. I do not understand.” We were back in the bathroom where I was still gushing blood. She helped me there and then helped me back. She was so much kinder than my nurse had been. Back in bed by 8:00PM there was a huge cramp and another gush. I heard my phone beep. It was my Park City friend. I asked her to text Dave. I think I knew I could text him to, but she was there so I asked her. Moments later I needed the bathroom again. I was confused. I was covered in blood and so scared. I came back to the room and found the Ultrasound Tech. She is in her sixties and when I said, “Please. Please. I do not know what is happening.” (Where was my nurse? Who the hell knows?) The Ultrasound tech asked my what I needed and when I said, “I need the bathroom again,” I could tell she was bummed that I was emptying my bladder, but she was lovely and kind. “Whatever you need.”
Davy
In those moments Dave came rushing back to the room, leaving the boys in the car. “What do you need?” He asked. “I don’t know.” She inserted the ultrasound wand and I felt something I never want to feel again. For the several minutes she was viewing my uterus from every angle, blood was flowing out of me like a faucet. I whimpered. I did not cry. I kept asking her what was happening. “Oh honey. I know. I know.” She kept saying. “I know what you are going through. There is a lot of blood.” I was, in a way, giving birth. She showed me the gestational sac on the screen. There was no baby. No joy. I was exposed, worried and lying in a pool of blood — blood I have only seen in really bad horror movies. I just kept bleeding and my blood pressure, kept dropping.
Finally, really, finally, I guess I became serious enough for my nurse to pay attention [insert Super Man theme music here]. He came in my room and my lovely Ultrasound tech said, “She really needs something for the pain. You need to help her!” Because the Ultrasound tech is lovely, she also insisted that he is a good nurse. I think he is a good nurse when things interest him. He confirmed with my doctor and gave me a shot of Dilauded. I was not hooked up to a blood pressure cuff at the time and have no idea why. I asked Superman, my male nurse, if he would take my blood pressure. “I feel dizzy and I do not feel right. Please. Please take my blood pressure.” He handed Dave a blue plastic barf bag, slipped a blood pressure cuff on my upper left arm, and cautioned Dave, “If she throws up, come find me.” I felt the pump, pump, pump of the cuff and watched my blood pressure go down, down down to 77/33. “I don’t think that is ok.” Superman immediately lowered my bed and said, “Oh, it’s fine.” Once my bed was lowered, my pressure went back up to 81/43. I know enough about blood pressure to know that once it goes too low that the body starts shutting itself down. I knew if I kept bleeding and my blood pressure stayed low that we would have a bigger problem.
My blood pressure
After the nurse left we texted our doctor friend. When we shared my blood pressure numbers with him he insisted, “Push your call button now!” And this is an ER doctor dude who does not scare easily.
I whimpered. I cried. I could not believe the intense and continued pain. The pain medicine as continued as it was too, wasn’t helping. I asked Dave, “Am I going to die?”
“No. No Beth. You are not going to die. You are going to be ok.”
And earlier tonight while Dave and I talked I realized why I didn’t die. I listened to my OB and even though my nurse was not listening or initially even respecting me, I knew where I needed to be, I remained calm and I held my ground.
My blood pressure did not stabilize. They kept switching IV bag after IV bag. We stopped counting at around ten. The bleeding only got worse. I heard the phrases, “packed cells and blood volume,” over and over. Yet through it all the doctor kept saying while simultaneously being freaked out, “You are so healthy. You should have already had a transfusion. Wow. The altitude is saving your life. I cannot believe this.” I couldn’t either. Because I live at 7,200 feet (yes, that’s right) and was now at approximately sea level, I had some extra hemoglobin.
Right before surgery I was able to change out of my second completely blood-soaked gown. I asked the med tech if it was bad and she shook her head in compassionate alarm. Earlier and when I could still walk, she had just wrapped the other blood-soaked gown in a sheet when she took me to the bathroom. I was able to see the tremendous amount of blood on the bed. “Only really bad head wounds or gun shot victims have this much blood,” I thought. She, Dave and I removed my second gown. I saw clots stuck on fabric and the heavy red stains of what I had just lost.
We spoke with the OB surgeon and conferred with the ER doctor. I really had no choice. “We need to do a D&C. We need to stop the bleeding.” I had surgery. I made it through. I was able to go home in the middle of the night. Best part of the experience was when Justin brought the boys back to us. Earlier I sent a text to Dave’s brother and sister who live in Portland. Dave’s sister only knew I was pregnant the night before and Dave’s brother had no idea. I sent the text asking if they could come get the boys. Justin already knew. Justin and Denny took the boys for several hours. I wanted them back. I wanted to see them. They came in my room, helped me eat my popsicles. I could tell Eli was freaked out. Last time he was at the hospital was when Kyle was sick. I asked Eli to come snuggle and told him it was ok. He fell asleep next to me.
Easy E zonked out in my hospital bed.
Friday Morning, August 3, we were in bed. The phone rang. It was the surgeon. I thought she was just checking in on me. She was. We were leaving for Utah that day. She wanted to make sure I was taking my antibiotics and also wanted to tell me that the Pathology Report had some unusual findings. “They did not see any products of conception in the D&C. Would you like me to call your OB in Utah? I would like to call her.”
We both think I must have passed everything earlier. Tomorrow I go for blood tests.
“If you could write like Bill Bryson, you would be really successful.” Dave said to me as he read by the pool.
Next to him I sat,
looking at the ocean. I thought for a second and in my vacation haze I responded,
“I’m not sure how to take that, but I would like to think I can write and who wouldn’t want to be successful?”
Sitting next to Dave and looking at the ocean
“He is a travel writer and he is really funny.” Dave continued.
“I like to think I am funny and I love to travel. Maybe there is hope for me yet.” I laughed or laughed as much as I could in the mid day heat. I looked to my left and saw Kyle reading one of my favorites: Gary Larson. “I could pull off a little Far Side, couldn’t I?” I thought.
Kyle reading the Far Side
Dave kept reading and so did Kyle. I looked over and noticed Eli to the right of Dave. Covered with his shirt, the boys had spent the morning at the beach and then swimming in the pool.
Easy E at the pool
Somehow our day came to this moment, the four of us each lying in a lovely beach chair reading, staring at the ocean or wrapping a shirt around our head. The moment was divine and the moment was brief. Soon Eli, Kyle & I decided we were hungry and I had to pee. We promised to bring Kyle a snack (we didn’t) and Eli and I went on a little adventure. We found the baños below the pool walked back to our room. We could not get into the room because it was being cleaned so we decided to check out the tennis courts. Back in the hotel courtyard Eli looked up,
“Hey Mom, look. It’s the cleaning lady. I think she is done.”
We walked back to our room and decided to change plans. Dave and I would take a long (and it was long) walk on the beach while Kyle and Eli cooled off and hung out in the room. Best part: there would be snacks. Eli and I walked a different way back, asked Kyle & Dave to pack up their things and follow us because we had a plan. We did. They were settled in the room and Dave and I were off. . .
Little Cove on our Beach Walk
We lucked into this hotel. It is not what I had picked and I am glad. Do you like deals? We like deals. What happened is that Dave saw a Groupon for the Welk Resort. Coincidentally I had also decided I wanted to stay at the Welk Resort. Within hours the Groupon was sold out. Dave was discouraged and so was I. I was willing to pay full price for the Welk, but when I called they had no availability. Dave asked me to call the Groupon folks and I took it a step further and called the Welk People. No. I could not get the Groupon deal, but if I would be willing to listen to a Timeshare Presentation (yes, that is what I said), a timeshare presentation, then I could stay at a participating hotel (The Westin or the Hilton). We have Gold Status at the Hilton (you could too) and with Gold Status we get things like room upgrades (if available), free internet, kids eat free and treats. I have been very happy with this particular Hilton Deal.
Eli’s Kid’s Eat Free Adult-Size Cheesecake
See, Dave has always been a deal guy. For years our friends always say something like, “I am sure Dave has a coupon for that.” He probably does. His Happenings Book is not far and we always skim the Park Record for two-fers doing the Shoulder Season. We have always used coupons and any combinations of discounts. It is how we roll. Some think this is shameful and most think it is awesome. Dave recently upped the ante with the online Travel Deal Market. With all these new travel deal website I need to understand, I must admit that I have been confused and I have been slow. Dave often comes home telling me new credit cards he has signed up for and how if you spend such and such amount each month you will get something like a billion Delta Miles. It is pretty awesome and I am grateful he is on top of things.
I was hesitant to take the Groupon route. Look, the last time we went to Mexico (2009), I had VRBO’ed what looked like an amazing place in Playa Del Carmen and come to find it was the biggest Bait and Switch ever. Our first twenty-fours consisted of Tenacious Me getting us and our friends into a new place. Yes, and after $100 cash was stolen from my wallet, the three other adults were beaten down and the boys cried a lot, we (I) achieved our beautiful and lovely infinity-pool success. Sure, I wore the Playa Del Carmen folks down and secured not one, but two brand new condos, but I was skeptical. If I ever went to Mexico again, I wanted to know what I was getting into. A Timeshare presentation attached to the heels of a Groupon deal seemed a big giant fat risk.
And I am here to tell you that sometimes these risks are worth taking. I would stay at this hotel again. I would pay full price. I love it. I love the beach. I love our room. I love the little chocolatey treats they bring to our room (for being gold members), I love Mexican Doug (Hector, our waiter), I love the pool and I love having this time with my family. Yes, and we also used frequent flyer miles to pay for our trip (you could too). The deals are out there. No one is paying for me to say these things. I have no sponsor, but I should. Ok, Dave should. Hilton, Delta and the Happenings People, you need to sponsor my husband. I am just saying.
PS: And here is how you can play it. You can either (a.) brag to all of our friends about your fancy shmancy Mexican Vacation or (b.) tell your friends about the killer deal you got to stay at the fancy foo-foo resort. Either way, you win.
